Welcome to our "PLYWOOD PIRATES"  website.

                       * * *   Us pirates intend to live forever.  ... So far, ... so good.   * * *

We are the "doing ones". We can do almost everything, with nothing. However, we cannot do some things. Because we cannot do these some things, we will not refuse to do some things that we can do. What we can do, we will do. What we should do, we always do. What we may do, is another matter.  And, we always do that, with "ruthless pride"  .....   >>  freddo  <<  e-mail

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        click >>>  Paddling program for wood-be pirates        Up to date Information

NEW click >>>   West Kunderang,  ... pictures                      Pictures and info.

        click >>>  Gleniffer falls, Sunday 13th Jan, 2008         Pictures and info.

        click >>>  Freddo's Gorge pictures                               Pictures.   

        click >>>  Ray's Gorge pictures                                    Pictures

       click >>>   R and R Boats                                             Pictures

       click >>>  Plywood pirates theme song  by Terry Munsie.  ....to the tune,  "Puff the Magic Dragon".

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                             We welcome ... New,  Used, Abused and Bruised  paddlers.

                        When it comes to mucking about, ...we're still recognized as the ex-spurts.

                                        What we do,  would bring tears to a glass eye.

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                                    If you stumbled onto this site and aren't confused,

                         then you don't really understand what  is going on.

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Click these links for our hidden treasure.

My Gt Grandmopther's 1882 Diary.  A  93 day sailing trip. England to Australia, In the "Peterborough".        

Download  the  latest "Google Earth" program.    > > here < <     ........ v 4.3.7204.0836  [beta]

Pirates' Laws             ............  [  the 25 Commandments of Pirate Etiquette ]                        

Tupperware Kayaks     .............  and other "real-good-stuff".    

Ray's shocking photos.  ........... [ by a fella with fifty five and a half cameras ]

"Workshop-tools"        ........... perfect, for the home Randy-man.    [ sponsored by MITRE 11 ]

"Dark suckers"             ......  Find out what they are & understand how they work               

Lowrance  GPS,             ......" I FINDER GO "     [user-notes and shortcuts]

GPS points of interest    ......  Know exactly where you are,   ...... especially when you are lost.

Pirates tunes page,              ....Celt,   .... Irish,   ....Scot.

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                "Is gravity getting you down ?   Kayak with the Plywood Pirates ..... [and learn-to-swim"].

             "If you've got nothing,  keeping it clean & tidy is very easy." 

                "Long ago we pirates had nothing, and now, most of us have still got it."

             "If you're not living on the edge like the pirates, you're taking up too much space."   

                                                                ..ooOOoo..            

               Our recent publications are ......   

              "Live by the Kayak, play by the Kayak."  ........  by  Mal Function ( I'SBN HADB4THIS)    

              "Never trust a Skinny Cook."   ..........................by  Cam Ping.     (I'SBN HADEARLYA)

              "Never trust anyone who shaves their legs." .....   by  Sto King.       (I'SBN HADONCEB4)

              "Kayaking outdoors."                     ................... by  Al Fresco.   (Banned in several countries)

              "The Pirate's guide to fast-food."     ................... by Col Esterol.  (straight out of the oven).     

                                             [  Pirated copies are still available. ]

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       Join us ... "The Academy of Paddling and Kayak-building" ... for fun and tiredness.

     We offer advanced tuition in Kayakology. Our Nursery Section  has vacancies & the First-aid room is often vacant.

      Get your qualifications with us.   ......  Become a Kayakologist  ...  [ Kayakaholic  ? ].

      We also offer a safe and protected environment for care-less adults who enjoy kayaking & all outdoor stuff.       

      Increase your paddling speed. ..... paddle from daylight to dark in two hours.     

      Some of our kayaks are such masterpieces that they never leave the lounge-room.     

     Learn to use your GPS unit with us,   ..........and get lost in the process.    ...... [bring some string  & a torch]

     Our un-qualified instructors are a tremendous asset to our dis-organisation.

      In just 25 seconds, they can tell you everything they know about Kayaks, Kayaking and not Kayaking.

    Visit our sheltered workshop. Open Mondays, Tuesdays & Fridays.  Be early to get a plywood seat.

      There are no admission charges      ..... but,   ..... bring your own bullshit repellent.

      You will ....  [eventually], .... improve your survival-skills, your education-level and your basic-knowledge.

      Come and get a life for once in your life, ... [ get some 2nd-hand-skills too ]

      Learn from our mistakes, .........we do, ...........why shouldn't you..

      Our rules are very simple and easy   ....  "We don't have any".

      There are no joining fees,  or visible charges.  [ Well,    ...... not just yet ]

      We don't have committees,  there are no elections or meetings. [ so there's  more time to enjoy what we do best ]

      We never argue with most women when they are tired,  .... [ or when they are not tired. ]

      We always say "no",   ....... then we negotiate.

     We all do as we like, whenever we like, where ever we like, as long as we like, [as long as we like it].

     We always believe what we hear.     ............. We don't believe what we always see.

     We build plywood  kayaks and canoes. ..... [canoes are for women & kids]

     Come and have a stroke with us.  .......  You will have an oar-some time.

     We paddle somewhere different every Saturday & Wednesday. and ...... [ do you like a  full moon, night-paddle, ? ]

     We often camp out,        .......  [ forced to sometimes ].

     You are most welcome,  ... to join us,  ... or hide from us,     but,    ....... don't annoy us.

      Don't ever criticize us, then we won't criticize you, ............although we reserve the right to.

      Huge penalties are un-enforceable, for disagreeing with any of us, on anything at all.

      Donations / penalties, are usually, 8 x 4  sheets of 3mm plywood, payable to head office.

      Our sacred sites;  Boambee, Bonville, Pine, Warrell, Moonee, Station, Red-Rock & Coffs creeks.

                                    The Bellinger, Wooli, & Sandon  rivers;  The Harbour,  Scotts Hd & the mighty Clarence-Gorge.

    For information on our do-ings, not-doings, and out-ings. >>>  vk2fm@tpg.com.au ...or phone  6653 1511..

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                       Our great Crew, ... we have ex-spurts in every field.

                                         Click any picture for a grew-some image

   The ex-spurts.    The ex-spurts in uniform.   Our old clubhouse.     Our new clubhouse.  Annette, Our cook

   Ray [vk2brg]           Robert [vk2ch]          Freddo  [vk2fm]         Pat [vk2bph]         Terry, conducting.

 Clem, in a hurry.         Floppy, fishing.           Joyce, resting.          Peter, counting.           Doug, sailing.

 Elaine, reflecting     Ken [vk2dgt] & Robyn    Ray's new Kayak          Ray & Jan             Bill, wondering.

Geoff, the ear-piercer.   Billy, supervising.     Pirate Pete the Poet. Bob, the timekeeper. Bruno, Noah's apprentice

    Noel 19.9.07.       Stan the razor-man        P.S. Duneasy.         Coffs Ck log-jam.     The woodpeckers.

Newsflash...    Salt-water Crocodile in local creek...[Warrell Ck. Thursday, 9th November ].

The news and these photos have local authorities baffled as to how this crocodile has reached so far south.

The authorities are also critical of  the fellows playing around with it and inviting serious injuries to themselves.

                                               The only crocodile known to eat apples & bananas.

.... See newspaper article in the Coffs Coast Advocate, Saturday, 11th Nov,  [ Remembrance Day ]

    Ray on the bite.        Freddo tempts fate.    Robert gets bitten.  Warrell ck Crocodile  Freddo & new girlfriend ================================================================================

Our Hyper - active Pirates are ;    [ some  have A.D.D.  ..... "too much bad rum in early childhood" ]

Ray 1    vk2brg, [Kayakologist, B.A (hons)  Bullshit Artist ],   Ph.D [post hole digger] in Kayakology, ......a  kayakaholic].

Robert  vk2ch,   [Chief Engineer ]  known around the globe & in the boat-building trade, as, "Professor Plywood".

Freddo vk2fm,   [O H & S]  of  Hook & Sword.  Has studied  the "female-brain"   [ gave up, ....didn't find anything  ]

Ken     vk2dgt,   [Quality control ]  ,,,  Control is o.k. ,,,  Quality walked the plank   ,,,,  In damage control.

Pat      vk2bph, Ex motor-cycle pillion passenger. aka,  "Pat on the Back". ... Paddling speed almost improving.

Doug    [Captain Craftsman]   Doing time in the clink,  ... got 12 months for stealing a calendar. [now polishing  H.M  Iron]

Clem    [Our eye surgeon]  Wears an eye-patch made of 3mm plywood. A keen listener, but, blind as a welder's dog.

Floppy  [Socks]  Favourite saying is "Well, I'll be darned". Recently fell into an upholstery machine. Is now fully recovered.

Peter D [our very own George Negus]  ... once worked for 60 minutes, ........ but no more than 60 minutes.

Ray 2    [ Blister ] ...... Appears when all the work is finished. ....... His new double Kayak is a work of art.

Ray 3    [ The Judge ]  Always sitting on a case,  .... with new strip-deck Kayak & new GPS, he is now  moving about.

Peter B  [ The Poet ]  Can rhyme  this and that. Annette is building a kayak.  Pete's taken up dressmaking.

Annette     [The cook] Where would we all be without the cook. Cooking up a new kayak.  .. Housework's on hold.

Bob Mac [ Time-keeper ]  ......  has had more time off  than a spare tyre.                           

Billy         [ Workshop supervisor ]   Very strong, .... but can't  get the skin off a rice custard.

Bruno      [ Master craftsman ] ........  Apprenticed to Noah in earlier times,   ......  before the big flood..

Noel        [ An amazing memory ]  He tells us that he can remember when beer was threepence a loaf.

Geoff  Q.  [ Tipper ]  Tips over a lot.  Ear-piercer by trade. Pierces ears ... "while you wait". ..Only a buck-an-ear. 

Terry        [ The conductor ]  Out on good-conduct  and doing  the community a dis-service.

Stan          [ Razor ]  Very sharp. Can shave a sleeping mouse,    ....... without waking it up.

Mike B.    [ Chips ]  Works mostly with computers.   Likes chipping. ...chipping away at a plywood kayak.

Geoff C.   [ Woodpecker ]  Works in the learning woodwork industry.  Still learning.  Likes cutting, ......[cutting corners].

Hugh Jarce  [Ex copper]   ............has trouble getting into a kayak.

Richard   [ Pot hole ] ... "always in the road". .....  His full name is,  .... Richard  Head, ....of no fixed address.

                ........ his brother lives in the flat above him.

                Repairs pot-holes, with the shire's road crew,  the  "Golf club gang"........ They do nine holes a day.

                Tough too.  .......  He jogged home,  17km,  right after his vasectomy operation.

                                            Shaves with a blow-torch and has skin like a crocodile.

                Popular as weed growth. Talks to himself a lot. It's the only way he can have an intelligent conversation.

                Very unlucky, ... e.g. .. when it  rained soup  ...... he told us, that he only had a knife and fork.

                                                                                        There is another version, but not on here. Ask me next eyeball.

  A reminder, ...  if you have any scandal concerning anyone at all, send it to freddo ... vk2fm@tpg.com.au

                 [   If you haven't got any, .... be creative,   invent something,   and  ... "send it in". ]

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Wood-be pirates, invading this site, now total    

 The  tune is "Teviot Hills". ...........[press refresh to hear it again].

21st October,  2008.    [  freddo / vk2fm  ]  .... for the  "Plywood Pirates".